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| I hadn't really had time to be sad until now.
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| Cory came to visit me on Saturday. We went for a couple walks to try to get the baby moving in the right direction. We went and checked into the same hotel we always stay in when he comes to visit. Had sex. He went to sleep about ten minutes later, he went to sleep and I started having contractions. I always have contractions post-orgasm so I didn't really think a lot of it. They kept coming and coming. I realized I had watched an entire documentary on Jonestown and they were still coming, so I flipped to TV Guide and used the clock there to time them. Around 3 AM, I woke Cory up and asked him to sit up with me for a little while because if the contractions didn't stop by 3:30, I wanted to go to the hospital to be checked out. They didn't stop. I was 5 centimeters when we got there. Got the epidural. The IV hurt worse coming out of my hand than the epidural did going in. It wore off about an hour before I started pushing. The pain wasn't unbearable. I realized around the time that my epidural ran out that they had started me on Pitocin the minute I arrived in Labor and Delivery and didn't tell me. My heart rate and blood pressure were out of control the entire time, so I unfortunately had to agree to a lot of interventions - they broke my water, did an episiotomy, and used suction to deliver the baby, all of which I really wanted to avoid. The end result was totally worth it, though. Elliott Quinn Mize was born at 2pm on October 11th. He was 7lbs and 20 inches even. Absolutely perfect.
The first couple days have been pretty rough. I had some difficulty with feedings and then he developed jaundice and we had to keep him under this weird light for 20/24 hours of the day, but this morning the nurse came by to check his blood and we were told that we could take him out of the light! What a relief. I'll post a better update eventually.
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| I decided I'm definitely NOT taking the Cytotec. I am more than willing to allow him to induce me at this point - I'm angry about EVERYTHING, I'm tired all the time, I'm just fucking sick. There are other drugs that he can use though, and if he's not willing to, I'll just have to house this little parasite a little longer. (I don't really think he's a parasite. It all goes back to that ANGER I just mentioned.) My mom keeps telling me that I have to trust my doctor, that this is the one time in my life that I have to just do whatever they say, but I only have this one body and I'm only going to have this one child and it's just not worth the risk to me. I have an appointment Monday morning and I'll bring it up then. I hate being a difficult patient, but come on! Just Google it! I haven't read one positive thing about the drug. Horror story after horror story. It's not even approved by the FDA for induction of labor. It's a fucking ULCER medication. The manufacturer specifically warns against using it to induce. Why would I let them give it to me? That would be irresponsible! I'm sure he's used it successfully a million times. He's probably never had a problem with it before. I have awful, awful luck and I'm just not going to go there.
Ugh. I was in such a bad mood when I woke up (read: crippling hip pain) that Kristen and I went shopping for the few things I still needed. Well, not really needed. I just NEEDED to get the fuck out of here for a little while and it was too cold for a walk. Got some safety locks, socket covers, a shopping cart cover, more lotion because my skin is FUCKED, and some stuff I needed for the hospital stay. Now my knees are killing me. We weren't even gone that long. AHHHH!
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| There is now a mosquito bite on my already itchy abdomen. I AM GOING TO SCRATCH THROUGH MY SKIN AN TAKE THIS CHILD OUT ON MY OWN.
Anyway. 12 days until my actual due date. 18 days until the scheduled induction if he decides to just hole up in there. I still don't think he's going to wait that long. I'm having more and more contractions every day. They become regular for a couple hours and then taper off. It's really frustrating. I have a doctor appointment in a couple hours and I'm hoping I've made more progress. I went in to the hospital the night before last, mostly because my mom was really worried, and I had gone from 25-30% effaced a week ago to 85% then. I think it's all the primrose oil I've been swallowing =). I know that neither effacement or dilation really makes a difference until you're actually in labor, but it's still nice to feel like I'm working towards it. I want my fucking baby! And it would be nice to be able to sit upright without struggling or to walk to the bathroom without struggling to breath!
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| I am so relieved after my appointment with my new doctor. He told me not to feel bad because a lot of complaints have been made about my old doctor over the past couple years - so many in fact that the old doctor now refuses to cover the new doctor's deliveries because he thinks he's "stealing" his patients. This was also a relief to hear, because no matter what, he will not be a part of my birth experience! I'm overjoyed. He did an ultrasound to confirm that Elliott is head down, which he is. He said he's very low which explains the immense amount of pressure I've been feeling on my pelvic bone and hips lately. Unfortunately, my blood pressure was very high so I'm having to do a 24-hour urine collection to check for protein and make sure I don't have preeclampsia. The chances of that are very slim but I made myself more paranoid when I got home by looking up the other symptoms, one of which is rapid unexplained weight gain. I've gained about 3 pounds since Tuesday. I haven't been over-eating at all. I've actually been eating a lot less because my appetite has dropped off noticeably in the past two weeks or so. (That's totally normal at this point in late pregnancy, don't worry. Neither Elliott nor myself needs to gain much more weight, thankfully.) I thought it was probably just water weight but I guess I could be swelling somewhere without noticing. We'll see! Hopefully everything is alright. Even if it isn't, I'm full term so they can induce me without harm to the baby. There is no treatment for pre-e, but it goes away postpartum.
Other than all of that -
I miss my boyfriend and I am so sick of being here. I'm going to have a long talk with the little one tonight in hopes of convincing him to make his appearance because I want to meet him and also because I'm going to go completely out of my fucking mind if I have to stay here much longer. I'm so fucking sick of my mom's girlfriend. SO SICK.
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